Dancing Man

I forgot that I wanted to put this up here, because it is ridiculously awesome. Enjoy!

Transformers

Gentle reminders of love come from the most obscure places. Before going to East Asia, some of my team and I found ourselves sitting in a theater, completely stoked to see the new Transformers 2 movie. I shamelessly admit that I cried not once, but three times.

Three.

I think three is a significant number. Here’s why:

Amidst the choas of warfare and bullets and madness, there was one boy attempting to get from point A to point B safety. The sanity and safety of the world depended on it.

There is just something about this kid that makes people want to fight and die for him. He has the Primes fighting for him, the military, his family. Strangers that are willing to die for him so that he can complete his goal of reaching this imaginary finish line to save the world.

And I was insanely jealous, I will admit, leaving that theater. What is it about this guy? Everyone wants to know that they are worth fighting for, and apparently he was. He had three main groups of protectors, and I left the room thinking “Shoot, I wish I knew some transformers. better yet, I wish my car was a transformer.”

I sat there and thought about the number three for a while, don’t ask me why. And then it came to me, a shock of brilliant realization, a joyous reason to celebrate. I also have protectors. I have the Father who created me for purpose, who is powerful and mighty to save. The Son who died to protect me, who went before me, who has saturated every street that I walk, who has eyes like a flame of fire, a voice like the roar of many waters. And I have the Spirit who never leaves me, who stays on the front lines of the battlefield, offering guidance and protection over my soul. I am richly blessed.

Apple Farm

Apple farms are lovely.

They really are. Especially in the mornings after you’ve just woken up and stumbled out of the house with your battle canteen (mug) of coffee ready to fight your way through another day of living. You pull up to the barn and stare it down for a few moments, deciding if it would be worth it to bring a jacket, the weather is always so temperamental, and you might have to spend some quality time in the walk in refrigerator if customers decide they like apples enough to want a box full of them. In that case, you might as well bring mittens, warm socks, and a beanie or muffler. You decide it’s worth it. You sweep the floor, the repetitive motion feels so familiar, and sit on the stool inching your way back towards the open door where the sunlight is pouring in full force, and soak up the warmth. You can feel your muscles start to relax one by one, the day hasn’t started it’s attack yet, but you cant let your guard down, even for a moment. There are exams, meetings, homework assignments, and other malevolent do dads and whats its that could be hiding behind any corner, springing up on you without warning. But your to far from the road to hear any cars, and you can feel the wind whistling gently through the cracks in the wood planks of the barn, and the birds have been awake for hours. It’s not your fault that your consciousness kindly slips away from the rush of the day and on to more immediate matters, like the fact that the barn smells like fresh apple sauce and the coffee your drinking is keeping your hands comfortably warm. Your not a traitor to your fellow students, it’s okay to let your mind drift to things that are lovely, and righteous, and true, and wonderful. It’s okay to obsess about something that doesnt look oddly like a textbook, or isn’t adorned with strange mathematics equations, or that don’t look like a homework planner.

My hope for you this week is that you would brave a new adventure and retreat. Fall back. Rout. Run away from. Hide from. Flee. Withdraw, from the worries that you cling to and let God fight your battles. I hope that you find a place to sit and rest in stillness and peace that is far enough away from the road to where you can cry, sing, praise, yell, dance, or tremble without being overseen or overheard by anyone but the birds, but close enough to the road to remember that you are part of  humanity, with all of its blessings and curses included.

Peace

Basque or Bask?

I am a solid believers that if you want to sound intelligent, take Geography.

Even though I was completely taken out… beaten up, annihilated, destroyed, OBLITERATED  by my geography midterm yesterday, I cling to the fact that I know where almost every country is in Western Europe. Plus a concoction of random cities and major land forms. I hold up my head because I at least know where Moldova is. And Macedonia. And Albania. Do YOU know where Kosovo is? Did you even know it’s a country? Eh?

Didn’t think so. But that’s ok, because there is hope for you too.

Want to impress your friends? Take Geography. You can hold your head up high, knowing that Kosovo is indeed a country. And Transylvania is in fact, a real place. Yes, I know, it is shocking, small, and it’s in Romania.

I am Basquing in the glory.
(Geography joke that I just made up).

That’s it for my words of wisdom on this glorious evening, Geographer in training, signing out.

Besieged City

My house is completely surrounded by houses of boys, and I would just like to say that the cool evening air of my balcony is tinted with the smell of cologne on this gloriously chilly Saturday evening.

I feel like Jericho. And I feel like a besieged city.

Besieged: Surrounded, cut off. I need an escape hatch, but when Jesus was building my foundation, He didn’t seem to include one in the floor plans. I am surrounded by meetings, sometimes by lies, friends, midterms and essays, the beautiful fall weather thats gently easing its way into San Luis,  to do lists, clutter both in my mind and in my room, plans, more meetings, sometimes by overgrown and tangled vines which make the path out of the city just a little bit harder to find. The walls around the city are thick and fortified, well guarded by daily planners and online event calendars. I am serving, but I’ve misplaced the servants heart. God is walking around my city and it’s coming down. I am being humbled by my inadequacy. I am uncomfortable with the ongoing realizations that I have nothing pleasant, peaceful, loving, lovely to offer apart from God, and that hurts. It’s a lesson we all need to learn, but there is nothing quite as painful as learning it.

Is anyone else feeling a little claustrophobic in their own lives? Wasn’t someone supposed to include a trap door in the floor plans of our minds, not so we could flee forever, just for a short time to escape from all the clutter. Maybe it’s just me, and maybe it’s just because I have geographical locations passing through my head like sheep before i fall asleep at night, or unconjugated spanish verbs flittering through the remnants of my sanity like termites, eating away at it like a delicious beech tree dessert. Who has time to think about things that are, true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy anymore as mentioned in Philippians 4, when we have midterms, studying, social events to attend to. Is anyone else desperately relieved when it comes time to curl up in bed at two in the morning and push pause on the movie reels in our minds, only to find that the to do lists arent just written in our planners anymore, but in our minds? It’s like sticking post it notes of things to do over the engravings of love and truth that was initially supposed to be written on our hearts.

Solution:
Is there one? I’m not sure, but I think sometimes I think the best tonic is to be reminded that you will be ok. Sometimes we need to hear that we are failing, and that it’s ok. We need to be reminded about grace every day. We need to hear the Gospel, we need to preach it to ourselves. We need to remember when we fall flat on our faces, most of humanity is down in the dirt fighting gravity with us. That we’re in it together and that were not alone. The Gospel isn’t a one time deal, and its not just for strangers sitting on school benches, it’s for believers too.

Fireflies

What I wouldn’t give right now to lay eyes on some good ol’ fashion fireflies. How can anyone doubt that Someone is a pretty suave romancer of a Creator when there are these magical little beauties flying around sharing our atmosphere?

Just a random thought, I really love fireflies.

Sacrifice

So, I was hanging out with God at the Black Horse coffee shop downtown (Kayla was there too) the other day, and Hallelujah, I had a thought. Finally, something to chew around in my mind. Usually even in the rawest sense these thoughts tend to be bigger then my capacity to understand, so I end up bouncing them from one wall to the next as I break them down, but in the process my mind is stretched to new dimensions. I love that. It was about sacrifice and Jesus.

I wonder if he ever eyed the elderly folks who shuffled down the streets of Nazareth reminiscing on the ancient days of their Jewish ancestors, days when they lived in lands of milk and honey and had no king but God, He had a different fate, one that didn’t involve wrinkles and medicinal scented skin and the respect of children. I wonder if His mind ever wandered over to the little children mingling with the dirt outside of His home as their mothers peeked out the curtains in adoration and amusement. I wonder if He ever watched the wives briefly caress their husbands hands and know that His own callused hands would never feel the warm touch of a doting wife. I wonder if He ever sat in a humble wooden chair in His one or two roomed home and remembered that at one point He sat on a throne.

You never hear Him cry about any of these things though. He cries for others: Lazarus and the people of Jerusalem who reject Him, but never for Himself. He has nothing, and still it’s us He weeps for. I don’t think He had to do things the way He chose to do them, He is God after all, and limitations are shallow barriers when your omnipotent. What is beautiful to me about His death is not just the sacrifice of life itself, lots of martyrs have given that. It is that as God, He could have had everything that our passions and desires burn after: the wife or husband, the family, the job, the kids, the long days spent in sunshine with good company and a good book, the respect of neighbors, the comfort of a warm meal waiting on the table after a long day of working at a dream job. He could have had it all and more. God doesn’t play fair.

How do you look at a man who gives up infinite power, who looks upon everything the world has to offer Him, and turns away from it as He whispers “I love your soul more.” He didn’t just give up life, but by giving up every single thing we so desperately desire He showed us that there has to be something better, or else He wouldn’t have done it. God is love, if what was waiting ahead wasn’t as good as what is here, He wouldn’t have became the path to lead us there, it would have contradicted His very existence. So that’s why I say He doesn’t play fair. How could you not drop everything and chase after such a lover?

I have no clever title to put here.

I sat down at the computer intending to write something ridiculously insightful that would bring joy and some sort of peace (whether world peace or inner peace of that I had not previously decided), or something of the sort to myself and whoever is reading this. But then I realized I got nothing, no inspiration right now, nada, so I abandoned that idea in favor of writing about my new-found coffee addiction. I guess its more of a creamer addiction though and caffeine is kind of an added bonus.  But then I decided that wasn’t my best idea either so I am going to skip out on telling you about the pot of coffee I drank today and just leave you with this: I had a mini identity crisis the other day and went on this little quest to figure out what I could use prayer for this quarter, and I realized that this passage pretty much hits any mark for what any man or woman could hope for in their relationship with God. So pray it for me and pray it for yourself, its a good one.

“And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints of the kingdom of light. For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son He loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” – Colossians 1:10-14

He is good.

Hymn.

Brooke Fraser “Hymn” Lyrics-

“If to distant lands I scatter
If I sail to farthest seas
Would you find and firm and gather
’til I only dwell in Thee?

If I flee from greenest pastures
Would you leave to look for me?
Forfeit glory to come after
‘Til I only dwell in Thee

If my heart has one ambition
If my soul, one goal to seek
This my solitary vision
‘Til I only dwell in Thee
That I only dwell in Thee
‘Til I only dwell in Thee“

Hallelujah, All I Have Is Christ

Meet Jessie, she was the best and most beautiful dog on the planet, of that I am convinced, and she was a great soccer player. We got her name from these great kids books that my parents used to read me and my brother when we were really little called Jessie Bear books, like Jessie Bear What Will You Wear. She is another thing I had to say goodbye to today after being a part of the family for 13 years. She was so great.

It’s been a rough two weeks and I have found that I have had to give up more in these two weeks than I have in any other time of my life. I saw a friend pass away for the first time in my life, and in the same breath had to say goodbye to friends that I will probably never see again until we are with God, and then had to say goodbye to my dog of 13 years. Seriously, I would ask “what’s next?’ but I really don’t want to know. That has been mixed in with the best of blessings too though, coffee dates with missed friends and lots of nights spent under the clear skies of California stargazing and being reminded that our world isn’t limited to the ground. There is this great song that I heard tonight called “All I have is Christ” and the most beautiful line is “Hallelujah, All I have is Christ, Hallelujah, Jesus is my life.” I was reading Colossians 3: 4 yesterday where it says “When Christ, who is your life, appears…” and I was having the roughest time unpacking that sentence. I still don’t really understand it, but I guess I am starting to get the general big picture concept a little. I am learning life isn’t like a children’s game, and the rule “no take backs” that we all used to use as kids doesn’t apply here. Gifts that were given will be taken away because they weren’t meant to last forever like our relationship with God. I am realizing that everything I consider mine will one day be stripped away until I can truly say that all I have is Christ. The five dollars in my pocket probably won’t be there tomorrow, my dog that was sleeping in the living room a few hours ago won’t be sleeping there anymore, and in 1oo years everyone that I know now will be gone. Literally. And that will happen to you too. We can fight it all we want, but in one way or another that is always how it goes. Only one man has ever beaten death, and it’s only through Him that we can escape the fate that we deserved for choosing the tragedy of this world over His perfect love. We’ve got to keep ourselves in check, we’ve got to be in tune with our own souls so we don’t lose track of where we are and who we are in Christ. We have to wake up every morning and ask ”Today can I sing ‘all I have is Christ’ and include the hallelujah’ and mean it? Or today am I mourning the loss of everything that I used to have but now don’t have because all I have is Christ?” Can we sing “all I have is Christ” and “hallelujah” in the same sentence and understand the weight of that, what that really means? Because it ’s a big deal. I try to picture in my mind what it looks like for this to actually happen, and it is both terrifying and comforting that I for one will still have Christ. I can’t say the same for everyone else, that’s between you and your maker. Will we sing those lyrics with as much passion and mad desire and desperation for the Creator when we have nothing else, just like we did when it felt like we had everything? Or will our songs sound like a broken record, beaten down, worn, and tired, broken by a world that we watched fall in the beginning and have been trying to fix ever since, only to hang on tighter to it rather than to the Maker of its original perfection.

Better to figure out now that all we have is Christ than go through life resenting Him for taking away what wasn’t ours in the first place. But that’s just me.